


a pain that never stops feeling familiar

by Terryloveslove



Category: The Witcher (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Episode Related, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:48:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terryloveslove/pseuds/Terryloveslove
Summary: this is just a draft of Jaskier being really -really- sad.Honestly i am quite insecure about my writing in english since it's not my mother tounge (so please have mercy (?)idk enjoy
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 6
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

His eyes were soft and of honeyed sweetness, staring right into his own with unmistakeable fury. As sugary as his eyes might be, his mouth was filled with venom, every bitter word clinging into his chest, atrophying his heart as every second passed. He simply stared back, unable to form a sentence, for the pain was too consuming.   
Geralt turned around, leaving him with the sight of his dark figure in the alpine surroundings. His gaze stood still for a few seconds, until by the grace of some hidden force he was able to look away, tears formed in the back of his eyes, providing Jaskier with a pain that would never stop feeling familiar. The young bard seemed absent during the whole scene, however every word remained permanently stuck in his memory, just like the stench of fish in the coast. Overcoming the knot in his throat the blue eyed man managed to speak “right uh…” he breathed, trying to ease the pain that tightened his chest, choking his cracked voice behind forcefully pressed lips. “right, then” once more, he fought a sob that climbed through his sternum as his features showed his current vulnerability, he couldn’t afford to be weak right now, not in front of him. “I’ll… I’ll go get the rest of the story from the others” his last word almost lost in a whisper as the knot grew wider, he raised his eyes to meet the back of the witcher one last time “see you around, Geralt”.   
The path that took him down the mountain was rough, though surprisingly scarce of creatures. However, he walked fast enough to assure himself a camping place as far from the white wolf as possible, a creature that could certainly give him a frightening amount of agony. Maybe not strong enough to kill him, but certainly the amount necessary to inflict a great deal of pain and grim emotions into his now shattered soul.   
His pace slowed as the light of the day merged into a terribly silent night.   
As soon as the bard stopped the emotions he tried to force down his throat met him with a grotesque explosion of sourness that reached every part of his exhausted body. From his eyes, that were now flooded with painful tears and a blurry vision, to his lungs that ached from the seemingly unstoppable whimpers. Even his hands had been affected with this heavy feeling, as he couldn’t prevent them from shaking.   
Jaskier remained sat as he tried to calm himself. He aimed his hands to his now swollen eyes, the bard had stopped crying, but a few sniffles and small whimpers were prove enough that he had obviously been torn apart. As a minuscule hope of peace reached him, Jaskier realized how exhausted he felt, and how his eyes seemed to emanate a burning sensation every time he tried to blink. In vain he tried to sleep, turning around and closing his eyes to stop thinking, but he couldn’t stop himself from wondering why everyone he ever cared about ended up leaving him.


	2. life is too short, do what pleases you while you can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaskier is not so sad in this one.  
> He is our strong boi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, even though i thought this would be just a one-shot of me describing Jaskier's sadness , it turns out quarantine was not having it. So more chapters are coming. 
> 
> I'm sorry for how short my chapters are, i just feel they are better that way idk 
> 
> enjoyyy  
> (the happy ending is coming i swear)

He went down the mountain in a slow pace, it was early in the morning and the restless sleep he managed to get was far from enough to cease his tiredness.  
The sunrise was a thing of wonder, filled with gorgeous pastel colours, a pale orange and a wonderful lilac dancing in the almost white sky. Maybe his feelings could be soothed by writing a little bit, he thought. The beauty of this sky could not be wasted, and who knows, perhaps the ballad of his broken heart could be accompanied by a few beautiful colours.  
He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling his airless lungs as he tried to control his breath. His right hand reached for the case where he kept his lute, aiming for the small notebook hidden inside. He had wrote poetry and lyrics that spoke of courage and adventure between those yellowish pages, never letting himself write about sadness or broken hearts. That changed a while ago, when Yennefer appeared in their lives.  
Jealousy made its way through of course. Jealousy and the bitter realization that he would never compare to someone so magnificent, someone with such beauty and such power. He resigned to accept it; he could be the travel companion after all, be there with Geralt and avoid disappointment by keeping his feelings strictly platonic. But of course that went to hell too.  
The pen over the blank page hesitated as he couldn’t manage to write anything. He looked at the sky once again, but colours had dissipated to a plain bluish white. For a moment, Jaskier remembered the words he said to Geralt the day before.  
Life is too short. Do what pleases you while you can.  
He packed the notebook inside the case without writing anything. Life was indeed too short to miss any other sunrise because of his sour feelings. He would grant Geralt the one blessing life could give him, at least in that way he could come to terms with not being enough for the witcher. He convinced himself of that, he convinced himself that he would be alright.  
Only a single tear rolled down his blue eyes.  
He was going to survive this.  
With that in his mind, he kept walking down the mountain.  
The idea of the coast still fresh and tempting.


End file.
